Being with Someone
Sometimes being with someone can be a wonderful thing. It is a great feeling to know that you have someone in your corner. However sometimes when seeing someone new sometimes these people want to move faster than you are comfortable with. Take for example my new friend Davis. Davis is a very sweet guy! He is nice, attractive, great career, nice house all the things most people want in life, and he is 25, which is pretty young to have that much going for him. Davis has been seeing a man for several weeks. For the sake of anonymity we will call him James. James is also a nice guy and has a lot going for him.
So, these two have been seeing each other for a couple of weeks, but James works out of town a lot and they both lead very busy lives. Davis is the kind of guy that likes to keep things light, and fun. He is not seeing anyone else, but likes to keep his options open, because he believes that it’s better to just live life and have fun while you are young. James, however clearly has more feelings for Davis. They recently even had a conversation and James referred to them as exclusive. This kinda freaked Davis out a little bit, but being the polite person that he kept his mouth shut and did not correct James assumption. It’s like he told me “Why hurt his feelings if I don’t have to?” He continued to explain that James is everything he wants in a man, but he is just moving too fast, and why would we have him slow down, because eventually he may come around and want to be exclusive with James, so why have an uncomfortable conversation that will just hurt his feelings?
I am not going to lie I saw a little bit of logic in my new friend Davis’s thought process. I mean it was not like he and James has a conversation about being exclusive, James just referred to them as being exclusive in passing almost as if he was mentioning that he needed to pick up his dry cleaning, or he has to get the oil in his car changed, so why did Davis have an obligation to him.
I pondered his thought process for quite sometime. Then I came to the revelation that what is happening here happens all the time in the world. It is commitment phobia. It happens all the time in the gay and the straight world. There are certain people in this world that are just simply afraid to commit to anyone. Sometimes they have had there heart broken, or had a long line of bad relationships. Sometimes it is just the fear of the unknown.
Whatever it is this behavior is unacceptable! The way I see it is either you are with someone or you are not! My rule of thumb is to treat others the way you would want to be treated, and let’s face it no one wants to be treated in a negative way. So, I guess it just boils down to don’t be reckless with anyone’s heart, and don’t tolerate them being reckless with yours!
Love ya Bitches,
Adam
